What is “Baja Arizona”?

Primarily Baja Arizona is a state of mind. It isn’t really an official US state, though the crazier the state legislature gets, who knows?

The Free Baja Arizona movement was started back in the 1980’s as a joke in response to a bout of craziness from up north.  One forgets what specific craziness that was since there’s been soooo much nuttiness from north of the Gila River in 30 years.

Free Baja Arizona Free Baja Arizona

Here’s the bachground story:

An enormous mistake was made on December 30, 1853 when the Gadsden Treaty was signed between the United States and Mexico. The northern part of the Mexican state of Sonora, an area located south of the Gila River, was purchased by the United States, and tacked into what became the State of Arizona.

The people of the Gadsden Purchase have increasingly chafed under the domination of an enormous population in an around Phoenix (Maricopa County). In order to end the domination of Phoenix, the people of the Gadsden Purchase are seeking statehood. Proclaiming themselves as Baja Arizona, a “state of mind” is acknowledged to exist.

The primary differences between Baja Arizona and the remainder of Arizona are of attitude and tolerance. The people of Baja Arizona are known throughout the Southwest for their enlightened view of the world. This is obviously not the case in Arizona with the passage of SB 1070 making it illegal to be an illegal in Arizona. We don’t want to be identified with that sort of stuff.

In Baja Arizona people fight for civil rights. In Maricopa County they are jailing immigrants.

In Baja Arizona a major issue is environmental quality. In Maricopa the major concerns are how to harass Mexicans, and how to gut the budgets of the state university system so we don’t have too many smart people to disagree with the dunderheads in the State Legislature.

If Baja Arizona Became a State:

The State Motto would be “mas cerveza”.

The State Song would be “Get back” by the Beatles.

The State Animal would be Wiley Coyote.

The State Minstrel is Linda Ronstadt.

Cigarettes would be taxed at the rate of $4.00 per pack to support the new state’s free health care system.

There would be no speed limit in Baja Arizona since no one obeys the ones posted now.

Tucson would likely be the capital, creating an economic boom as hordes of lobbyists descended on the town. That might even justify a new hotel in downtown Tucson.

Small government advocates in Baja Arizona suggest the state capitol be in an RV, which would move around from town to town every 6 weeks.

Alta Arizona would no longer have a border with Mexico.

Baja Arizona could limit the rights of Maricopa County residents to visit for only 24 hours, and ban all real estate developers from Maricopa getting a Baja Visitor Visa.

Baja Arizona would probably send two Democrats to the US Senate.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?

The current Arizona state legislature would have to call a special election, and the people of Alta Arizona and Baja Arizona would have to vote in favor of splitting the state. Then Congress would have to approve.

The chances of the people in Maricopa County voting to get rid of the concentration of Democrats to the south, and the people of Baja Arizona voting to sever their ties to the right-wingers to the north are excellent.

The chances in Congress are not so good.

First, there are several proto-states waiting to be created–Puerto Rico, District of Columbia, and Northern California. Baja Arizona is maybe 54th. The other three would probably send Democrats to Congress, as would Baja Arizona. There is no way the Republicans in the US House and Senate would create 4 new Democrat delegations in Congress, just like the South blocked the admission of free states before the Civil War. Like the pre-Civil War period, the only way Baja Arizona gets to be a state is if new Republican dominated states are also admitted. Texas could split into 5 states. Disneyworld could become a state… how do you think we got a North Dakota and a South Dakota, a Virginia and a West Virginia, and a North and South Carolina?

Did you know that more people live in Tucson than the entire state of Wyoming?

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About Hugh Holub

Attorney and writer.
This entry was posted in arizona politics, humor and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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